Looking in the mirror, I see a person who wants everything to be perfect. Who wants to be right. Who knows that suffering brings perseverance, but desires to live comfortably.
I trust in the Lord but have a tendency to let the waves of life toss me around as if I had no solid foundation.
I write about going by faith in marriage, and two days later hit challenges that leave me questioning that faith.
Some people in my life deserve an apology — there are situations the Lord has opened my eyes to. But I haven’t made a move. I’ve lingered. Wavered.
The things I want to do, I don’t do. Instead — and often without realizing — I do the things I hate.
So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.
— Romans 7:21-25
Reflecting in the Mirror
Sinful nature, you float through me. You burden me and you deceive me. I know you are there; but I close my eyes and try not to see you.
And yet you are in my reflection. Wanting everything to be perfect. Wanting to be right. Wanting to live comfortably.
I once thought I was you and you were me. I once justified your motives, believing they were mine.
Only by the blood of Jesus do I know you exist outside of me, yet you still attack me. And like a puppet hung on strings, I move with your direction only to feel the same sick hangover in the morning.
But you don’t have my heart.
Lord, I confess the selfishness and pride that leaves me blind. Remove these strongholds in my life so that I can live only for you!
There is a battle being waged over my soul.
The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like.
— Galatians 5:19-21a
Thank you for your love, Lord. Thank you for your mercy again and again. Thank you for opening my eyes to see the destruction that occurs when I look away from you.
Thank you for surrounding me with faithful sisters and brothers who trust in you. With church leaders who love you and reinforce your Word. With a heart for Jesus, even when I fail to love like Jesus.
Thank you for giving me a marriage joined by you, not by me.
Lord, you care for your children. Give me eyes that see only you when I look in the mirror.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.
— Galatians 5:22-25