Keeping It All to Yourself?
A little while back I went through what felt like an eternity (a few days) of feeling extremely vulnerable. Maybe it was due to pregnancy, or maybe because some days we just feel more vulnerable than others. Either way, I admit that in this vulnerability, I was open to attack from the enemy.
My feelings were hurt over something I heard my husband say, and I thought it would be best to confront the issue. I began by asking him not to take offense and to pray for me, knowing in advance I’m not the most tactful when hurt feelings are involved.
What started out as “sharing feelings,” turned into my husband feeling attacked, and me feeling more hurt and alone. Reactivity and counter-reactivity followed.
Then silence.
Then I felt the attack continuing on me.
The words that went through my mind sounded something like this: Maybe it’s better to keep some feelings to myself from now on.
And that’s when a most beautiful realization set in.
As I prayed those words to God, he gave me a much better answer. He told me I wasn’t alone with my feelings and I never had to feel that way. I just had to turn to Him with them.
In Him I am safe to express myself. And so are you.
We can begin by asking Him to hear us, and to hold us in his great mercy, endless love and compassion. When we express our feelings to God, He helps us to see — and also to hear — the truth.
And so if we ever wonder if it’s better to keep some feelings to ourselves rather than share them, the answer is: We don’t have to keep them to ourselves and we don’t have to share them with another, but we can always start by sharing them with God. If it is something to be shared, He can give us the guidance and timing needed.
Only the Spirit can fill us with the wisdom and discernment we need to take the right course. Even when we are not speaking out loud, God is always listening.