When You Don’t Want the Lesson, But It’s Already There
Recently I sat down to write, steaming hot cup of tea in hand, warm sunlight coming through the window and thought about giving up.
Not because I wanted to. Not because I had to. But because it started getting too hard.
Wait, what?
Let me explain.
My site got hacked, and while it’s fixed and secure now, it was a tedious and draining process. A process I tried to fix on my own and move past quickly. A process I didn’t have time for but had to make time for. A process that was much less about this blog and much more about faith, endurance and reliance on God.
Are you struggling with a problem that feels draining, defeating and never-ending? I get it. Yet unwanted circumstance can be just what we need to strengthen our walk with God, gain courage and push through resistance. How?
First, lean into your faith. Then…
Do What You Can Until You Can’t
Two months ago a mini hack occurred here (there’s more on that in this post). In short, it resulted from an unchecked box I missed during a design change, and it was a time-consuming problem, but it was fixable, and I learned a valuable lesson from it.
I don’t like dealing with technical issues, so after it all got straightened out, I felt relieved and ready to move on, finally.
But the next time I sat down to write this blog you are reading right now, it was gone.
Yes, it was a blank page!
And When You’re at Can’t… Cry? (Just for a minute)
I no longer knew what to do. This wasn’t an easy fix. The site was kind of gone.
And the advice for how to fix it was way beyond my skill level. It looked daunting, confusing. I learned that the malicious coded infiltrating my site was there to “disable or compromise” it. What a disquieting feeling.
Frantically I texted two of my close friends. They were supportive, and one of them asked if I could just start a new site. I stopped for a minute and stared at the floor.
I had a short cry. Like three minutes. I cried for what I potentially lost.
But then I realized something so very important: It’s in God’s hands. This is His work, and whatever happens, I just want to be faithful.
A that moment the tears stopped, the confusion faded and I decided to wait and see what would happen. And what happened was I invested in some professional help, learned some great lessons along the way and now here it is, all cleaned up, safe and secure once more.
We all have these little battles of living by faith, but here are some gold-nugget lessons learned from all of it:
Find support from those who love you and understand the goal. Reach out to friends for prayer and support.
Give to God what can’t be understood or fixed. Trust that God has a bigger plan, even if it’s something we don’t get immediately (or ever).
Take time to feel. We’re human, and humans have feelings. There’s nothing wrong with giving yourself time, right?
Am I being faithful Lord? The morning before the hack I learned at a Bible study how Paul, in his letters, didn’t mention how many churches he planted or how many people got saved under his ministry. He measured his success by asking one question: Have I been faithful?
We have lessons we don’t want to learn because the timing isn’t ‘right,’ we don’t want the hard work, it feels scary.
It disrupts our routine.
And yet the lesson is there. Will we take it? Will we breathe through it and move?
Will we trust the Lord with it all?
Take heart. Step out in faith alone.