Gossip is like a secret craving. We say we don’t like it, but when it’s within reach, we almost can’t resist it. We get a sudden appetite to know what we don’t know… about somebody else.
Why is it so hard to stop? Proverbs 18:8 says, “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.”
No, you might think. Not me. I’m not into sharing the dirty details about a person’s life just for fun. But gossip comes in many flavors, and it involves listening as well. Proverbs 17:4 notes: “Wrongdoers eagerly listen to gossip; liars pay close attention to slander.” Yikes!
Types of Gossip and What the Bible Says
How do we know what’s gossip and what’s not gossip? We can find a number of Bible verses about gossip, especially in Proverbs, and we can also ask God to reveal it to us. James 1:5 tells us: “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”
Have any of the types of gossip below been too tempting for you to resist lately? (Come back here when you’re done if you can use help to stop gossiping.)
Slander
It’s defined as spreading rumors or lies about a person to cause damage purposely. The written form of it is libel.
The Bible mentions slander countless times in lists like this one: “But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips” (Colossians 3:8).
James 4:11 tells it straight: “Brothers, do not slander one another.”
Dishing
“Dishin’ the dirt” basically means sharing the “juicy info” you learned about someone. Maybe the intent isn’t to directly cause damage, but by keeping the gossip alive, it continues to spread and taint the image of the person it’s about.
Proverbs 20:19 tells us that a gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.
James 5:9 says, “Don’t grumble against each other, brothers, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!”
Rumors
You hear something, and it’s not good, and it’s also not confirmed as true. But you tell someone or ask someone else about it to get more info. The rumor mill turns and turns and the gossip spreads.
Proverbs 13:3 says, “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.”
Backbiting
It’s a flavor of gossip that involves speaking spiteful or slanderous words about another who is not present and can do nothing in defense. It’s secretive, and the Bible actually mentions it by name in Proverbs 25:23: “The north wind brings forth rain, and a backbiting tongue, angry looks.”
Also: “Whoever secretly slanders his neighbor, him I will destroy; No one who has a haughty look and an arrogant heart will I endure” (Psalm 101:5).
Not-Really-Joking Jokes
Have you ever taken some part of truth and turned it into a joke about someone that makes other question their character? It also serves as a passive way to spread more gossip. Example: Maybe he/she will actually get off the couch today long enough to blahblah. haha.
When the joking is harmful to another, it’s mockery. How can you know a mocker? It’s in the Bible. Proverbs 21:24 says, “Mockers are proud and haughty; they act with boundless arrogance.” And verse 9:8 says, “A mocker resents correction; he will not consult the wise.”
In addition, Proverbs 22:10 says, “Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended.”
And Psalm 1:1 starts out: “Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.”
Planting Seeds
The Bible tells us we reap what we sow. With that in mind, this type of gossip is said in such a way to make the listener question or assume something about the character of a person. For example: Isn’t it weird how he keeps staring at your girlfriend when you’re not looking?
James 3:5 tells us, “Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.”
A warning from the Bible from Proverbs 16:28: “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.”
Whispered Innuendo
These subtle insinuations can mislead others into thinking wrong thoughts, especially if the conclusions are based on gossipy hunches. Here’s an example: It’s interesting how he was “out of town” the night she was murdered.
Proverbs 26:20 tells us, “For lack of wood the fire goes out, And where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down.”
And a warning from the Bible: “What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs” (Luke 12:3).
Got-This-All-Wrong Gossip
You admit you probably got it wrong, but spread it anyway, because it’s still touching on some points that could be true. Or would sound exciting if true. Either way, it usually starts out like this: I probably got this all wrong, but apparently…
This is one of the most common types of gossip. We think we’re just passing on the latest news. Could it hurt someone? Meh. Maybe. But if we don’t even know the person, does it matter? James 4:17 says, “Anyone, then, who know the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.”
Thankfully, Jesus gave us an example to follow:
There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is said whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs” (Matt 10:26-27).
How Do I Stop?
After learning about the types of gossip, do you think it’s time to come clean? Take the next step in confessing and healing the desire to gossip. God bless you!
I love the photo tied to your blog 🙂
I do agree on gossip…I do get convicted sometimes, it’s not like I am constantly gossiping but you know what Christian say….gossip starts with a ‘prayer request’ for a friend and so forth and so on; God is Gracious tho, He convicts me if I go over the line, it’s not like I want to share other people’s problems, but just want help for my friend but it’s only between God and them or just between us unless it is stated that I can share you know?
Well, thanks for giving me a fresh look at gossiping 🙂
Sarah — I’ve been totally convicted lately about gossip. This is one of those things I didn’t think I had a personal problem with, but God has been showing me how *many* ways it happens! Especially knowing how listening counts as taking part in gossip, I’m seeing how easily it can stay alive in our lives under the surface. Still learning, and like you said, God is gracious.
Thanks for sharing in depth, I think for me it’s been a concern for the longest time ever and God’s been convicting me about it over the years…lately He’s been addressing it, this time around because I’ve been the subject of gossip and He’s been helping me understand through my own experience how injurious gossip is…and so I’m embarking on growing out of it. I wouldn’t want anyone going through what I am dealing with right now.
Thank you for your insights into gossip, the pic that came with it and the scriptures. I have a question though. When you’re in a seemingly conversation with someone who brings up another person’s actions that they believe was wrong, and they start talking about that situation, is that gossip? When I told the other person that I thought they were gossiping, they disagree strongly saying that they were just telling the truth. What do you think?
Could be easy to look at “other” types of sin and think how disgusting, but what about this one? Is it really all that funny to defile ourselves around the workplace when we slander, talk maliciously and let evil plot destruction with our tongues? Ever hear the laughs of the peoples around you and from where the laugh stems? Just watch almost any comedy show and see how society has been trained, even by a fake laugh machine in television shows, to laugh and encourage belittling, arrogant, haughty behavior. “Oh, that person is so…..haa haa ha ha!!!”
So grateful that the Lord led my family to a fellowship of believers who are striving to abide in Jesus’ way.
Great post Jen, it’s always good to be on guard against the enemy! Got to put on that spiritual armor and hold on!
Gossip: the hidden enemy! Thanks for this insight David.
Its the 8th deadliest sin.
Amen
I had a best friend well I thought she was my friend but behind my back she was lying on me spreading lies. I was hurt but in spite of I had to forgive her and move on. I don’t hate her. I wish the best 4 her
would like to be receiving daily inspirational words from u
Hi Jennifer Johns
I really appreciate this message about gossip..praise God for this measage.
I wanted to ask permission to share this to my friends..I hope it won’t be a problem..
Hello,
i get angry easily and when am angry i can say anything even though i cannot do it at the and of the day,and i need the grace of God to know when to speak n when not to speak.what can i do?
Hi Theodora — Our tongue is a small flame, but it can set an entire forest on fire! I’ve had to pray about this same thing and have seen results come over time as God fills me with his spirit. But the difference is HUGE. Also found inspiration in the book of James (it’s short and all about “controlling the tongue”).
We have to resist the urge to say more, even when we feel we have the right. James 4:7 — Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
It’s so important to pray about these things because we can’t do them on our own. It’s also stated in the bible:“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5)
As for daily inspiration, the bible verse of the day updates daily on the side bar of this blog, but most feature posts are once a week. You can get those by signing up on the right side bar. God bless you!
Good morning, Ms. Jennifer
My name is Sonia. I really loved the details of how the Lord has used you break each segment of gossiping. So I’m wondering if it’s at all possible for you to reach out to me via email. I have a question for you and I don’t want to talk to you on this blog about it. Thank you and God bless!
No matter what bothers you,or problems you are facing,remember this
Your problems are nothing compared to what JESUS went through.
Say that every time you get up set,and it will calm you down.
The topic was perfectly described, addressed and quantified. I loved this piece. I hope everyone has the opportunity to read this and shares. Also, I pray for more convictions in regard to this matter.
Thank you so – much for sharing.
I know that I felt convicted when I read it, I try to be mindful of what I say and how I say it but I have an ear and sometimes I listen to avoid conflict with the person talking, I realize that is equally wrong. It’s definitely something to work on, gossip can drive people out of a church and away from God.
Recently, my spiritual mom & I had a misunderstanding and she decided to speak to a 3rd party who is a “christian woman.” This woman only met me once & didn’t realize that my spiritual mom & I reconciled & forgave each other until she tried fishing for answers. So she’s been voluntarily repeating my spiritual mom’s words in order to get me stirred up, but I kept noticing how I had been on the defensive side telling her how my spiritual mom knows I am a considerate person & cried about this issue cause we were supposed to keep this concern between us. My spiritual mom & I prayed for this woman to find peace in the Lord. A whole week has passed & this woman appears to be so upset & dissatisfied that I haven’t slandered or gossiped about my spiritual mom & the Lord has prompted me to forgive her & stay far away from this woman cause
she isn’t @ peace with us reconciling. We need to pray for discerning people who gossip they are happy when others are not @ peace.
That’s so true ! An we got to be awake in the presence of the light cause if we are not we are In The dark. I find gosssip is a very corroding powerful force that is not to be underestimated. I’m not religious I’ve got to much doubt an unanswered questions. but I do find such beautiful pieces of myself in quotes from the bible. Must be heaven be be at one with the idea of god. No conflicting thoughts no bad feelings love etc
All of us fall… including Christians! The Spirit convicts us of our wrongdoing, and I’m sure that as you stand strong in the Lord and this woman sees the fruit of the Spirit in your life, she will be convicted and moved to face this place in her own heart. It is really encouraging to hear that instead of slandering, you pray. Remember, as always… this war is not against each other…
Draw close to the Lord and He will draw close to you. — James 4:8
My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them. — Proverbs 1:10
With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous escape. — Proverbs 11:9
Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down. –Proverbs 26:20
By the way — what is a spiritual mom?
this is very good, god can not look at sin, you gossip, you sin, he is not looking at you…
amen.. this is good x excellent
my god bless you
What do you need to do for the Lord to look upon you?
PRAYER GOSSIP
I think many Christians love to gossip in the form of “Prayer”. For example; I need prayer because my friend is having an affair. The bible is very clear about going to that person that is in sin and dealing with the sin. It never says to share these sordid details with the nursery leaders so that you feel better.
GOSSIP IS SOCIAL MURDER
Gossip is social murder, it destroys relationships and make connecting in a church impossible, and those that are accomplices are just as guity as those that did the speaking. Also, you don’t get out of gossip by confessing your sin. Gossip requires that you actually repent and make amends for your wrongs. If you stole your neighbors horse, you wouldn’t just confess to God that you stole a horse, and not return the stolen horse. Repentance always demands amends. We Christians seem to forget that part. Jesus paid the price for the sin, but we need to do our part to amend the hurt we have caused or our heart really hasn’t repented; we’re just playing games with our minds to feel better. If you haven’t returned the stolen goods, you haven’t repented.
Ways of making amends –
• Apologies
• Restitution (Doing something to repair the dammage)
• Admitting a wrongdoing you’d been denying
GOSSIP DESTROYS MARRIAGES
If you want to destroy your marriage, gossip about your spouse. Talk about how bad he or she is, or mistakes made, or their sins. It will be nearly impossible for your spouse to please you, because the opinions of many that he/she cannot see will always change.
GOSSIP MAFIA
Gossip Pacts – (Christians make these – so even if you feel shame about your gossip, you don’t rat them out. Anyone that breaks the pact is kicked out of the social group.)
I believe that pacts with friends, where you agree or are threatened not to disclose what was shared, or admit to any gossip; are agreements for evil. Those who participate in those agreements or bow to the threats are not walking in the light. When you know gossip is going on, and you don’t assist those that are being destroyed, you are part of the gossip. How can you say you would give your life for Christ, when you won’t even stand up for someone that is being destroyed by gossip?
JR I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. Some additional thoughts… You wrote that you don’t get out of gossip by confessing your sin. “Gossip requires that you actually repent and make amends for your wrongs.” Here are my thoughts… You cannot take back words you have already spoken, and you can’t go back to a conversation and not listen to it, but you can repent for gossiping (whether spreading it or listening with interest). We repent to God and when that repentance is true, the heart usually wants to make amends, but that is not always possible. I don’t think it’s the same as stealing a horse. You can’t take back words; you can’t go back and not listen. You might be able to apologize, but if you can’t, repent and ask the Lord to help you from sinning again sincerely. When the woman from John 8:11 was caught in adultery, Jesus told her to “go and sin no more.”
I don’t know what a Gossip Mafia is but valid point —Christians gossiping in a “safe” group to justify it… yep, that’s just plain old gossip.
I think you missed the point.
Prophet Taylor… maybe I did. As I’m rereading JR’s comments I see good points. Maybe I focused too much on the need to make amends in order to be forgiven, when the bigger point may have been that we actually can go that step further to make amends. What are your thoughts?
Just a friendly reminder that Mary Magdalene is not the woman in John 8:11, nor does the Bible ever mention her caught in adultery.
What is this in reference to?
This is in reference to your reply to JR.
Thank you Janny! I couldn’t find the original comment. Got it 😉
To be a Christian means to be like Christ, to live like Christ. This is in every aspect of your life. No doubt, we all sin sometimes. I have found in my personal relationship with Christ, it is just better if I keep my mouth SHUT, period in certain situations. You can feel it in your spirit when you are doing something wrong, or if you are thinking about doing something wrong. Pray, pray, pray. Don’t gossip. We do reap what we sow. Only sow GOOD seed, so you will reap a GOOD harvest. 😀
Praise God well said
Ask yourself, Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary? Repentance requires a turning around, and that means doing your best to right the wrongs that you’ve caused. Gossip is a theft of reputation.
This article is really good. Thank you so much for sharing it. 😀
Recently there are this rumors and gossip people created and talking about me and the worst part is they are part of the church which I find it really disappointing. It really hurts and the pain just wont go away. I think this gossips are really a big temptation the devil is giving us in order for us to fall into his trap.
Nina said is right.. Pray pray and pray.
keep praying for them, and for yourself so that this gossips will not affect our good and intimate relationship with God. No holding of grudges, and no bitterness, in the end , God will give us more reward. 😀
So, we better stay on track and continue pleasing the Lord. 🙂
It’s the best way that entertaining their gossips ^^ Blessings.
Thank you once again, I really appreciate this blog. ^^
I agree! We can pray for people who gossip about us (even when that feels hard to do) and forgive. And move on. This reminds me of the book The Bait of Satan… falling into offense and staying bitter is just where the enemy wants us to go.
I have been accused of gossiping and didn’t even know so. We have very close friends of 60 years that we consider family. At lunch I share the latest about our family, good and bad. Not things that would upset my family. Them being close friends I did not consider it gossiping. I would never have told the “happenings” to anyone else. What do you think?
Hm, Janet that’s a good question. I guess it really comes down to the intent behind what you’re sharing. I would assume if it’s news like your son got a new job, your daughter is getting married, your cousin was laid off, etc. these are happenings. If it’s infused with negative comments or opinions about people, or sharing things better left un-shared, then it could be gossip; it requires discernment. But I’ll add this too: if what you’re sharing is causing others to feel uncomfortable, that’s something to take into consideration too. I’ll keep you in prayer for wisdom on this issue. God bless.
I really don’t like gossip but, sometimes l do it really makes me feel bad,I repent,I remember a friend almost destroy me with gossip,but God brought me through it.I never forget the pain
I used to gossip, I grew up in a family with gossiping women so naturally I thought it was normal. It is disgusting to talk about people behind their backs or in their face as a mocker does. I used to think people were talking about me, but it was because I was always talking about somebody. Its best to keep your mouth shut if you have nothing positive to say, that’s what I do now. Some young girls were gossiping to me today about some other ladies and I didn’t want to seem like I’m better than them and walk away so I simply defended the accused and said how nice they were and not to think like that. I repeated the conversation to my mom and she said it was some good advice I gave them. Because afterwards they were agreeing with me that it is not that serious basically to focus on someone else, and to find the good attributes in them or just stay out of their way and not let people bother them.
Amen! Beautifully said. I noticed the same thing in my heart, that as I asked God to help me not to gossip, I desired less of it. Praying you continue to walk strong and guide others toward Christ. God bless you!
So, I’m teaching on gossip tomorrow for our church’s youth group and I am totally referencing your 8 things here (although I smushed together “planting seeds” and “whispered innuendo” and added helpful/hurtful referencing saying something “mean” about someone else in order to boost a friend’s mood or feelings… like, “Oh your graduation speech last year was way better than Susie Q’s graduation speech today.”).
And I am also pointing them to focus on Philippians 4:8 as a counter… and it’s so cool that you have 8 things and Phil 4:8 has 8 things! So, I’m pointing out how they should avoid the 8 things above and use these categories as their guide of what to say. Is it: 1) true, 2) noble/honorable, 3) right, 4) pure, 5) lovely/beautiful, 6) admirable/respected, 7) excellent, 8) praiseworthy? It’s already helped me to not send a couple of texts today that I would have otherwise. So thank you for your post, both for all the youth that will be blessed by it tomorrow (especially your corresponding scriptures) as well as for me!
Oh that is so awesome! I’m sorry to comment 3 years later but loved reading this and just wanted to say GREAT idea. I will keep you in prayer even now for more of God’s guidance to lead your way!
Lord, I thank you for always providing the right answers when I need your guidance. Forgive me for I have sinned. I thought I was just staying facts about my pain points on the job, yet here I stand GUILTY of gossiping. Cleanse my heart, renew my mind and bridle my tongue. Help me with my response when I feel wronged, that I seek first your kingdom, righteousness and rule. Father I now know the truth and am set free, claiming your complete healing and deliverance from this behavior. Thank you once more and again for opening my eyes. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!
You had a typo in the whispered innuendo section, there is no proverbs 26:30, the correct verse is 26:20. Thank you for sharing your info, looking forward to more.
Thank you 🙂 God bless
I believe that gossip is a sin that can be very destructive. I respect the people who want to make their business “public” but there should also be a boundary when someone comes to a leader and request that their personal life be kept confidential. A testimony is a public deal, but a family counseling session is not! it’s common sense.
Thank you for the information on gossip i have learnt something and i will share it for my friends to learn
I think that one of the most harmful and disgusting forms of gossip is something I call “prayer gossip”. It is rampant in the church and it is shameful. When someone asks someone to pray for this other person who is going through (fill in the blank), it’s nothing more than gossip disguised in a prayer request and seen as sanctioned by God. It isn’t. Church prayer chains become gossip lines, and people get hurt, slandered, embarrassed, and can ultimately be run out of a church or become too ashamed or embarrassed to return because everyone knows their private business. You can say that it was just to pray for them, and maybe it was. God knows the heart. But if you don’t have explicit permission from them personally, it’s not your news to share or, ahem, “ask for prayer for”.
Jen, thanks for the 8 insights on gossip. It is like seeing oneself through a mirror. As I read and reflected on them this morning, I found myself pausing to pray and rededicate my mind and tongue to God. It is refreshing!
May I humbly correct two Bible quotations: 1. backbiting it is Proverbs 25:23 instead of 22:23; Rumor it is Prov. 13:3 instead of 13:13.
May God bless you for taking time to share.
Thank you sister! Fixed! God bless you 🙂
I enter into a conversation a lot and never thought its a gossip.
I accept god in my heart in April 2014 and still i keep on gossiping, its one of those challenge i have and i am not doing anything about it.
Thank you so much for the advices. This really help me a lot.
How about the ever popular they-need-prayer? Mrs. Churchlady says, “Poor Mr. X, he’s been drinking again, and he really needs our prayers.”
This is just gossip/slander thinly veiled as caring.
Sorry Jen. I just realized Stacey had already made the point of my previous comment. So, nevermind. 🙂
That’s ok! It’s still a valid point… people gossip under the guise of a “prayer request,” and it absolutely should make us all cringe as Christians. We all know it because if we haven’t done it ourselves, we’ve heard it done. Now, what to do when we’re sitting there praying and someone starts prayer gossiping? Do we interrupt? This is good food for thought.
Thanks so much for thant insight. You are God sent. I have learned something new. Look forward for more
This clears up a lot of misconceptions. Thank you
Talebearing…
None confidential and unfaithful.
Proverbs 11:13
A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
Ohhhhh GOOD ONE! Totally missed that one. Thank you Tracey, you are on point!
Thanks, this is just so helpful to me , and would be for my neighbour if she’d only read it 🙂 Ive been a christian for more than 35 years and probably read all this stuff , but by lumping it all together with excellent examples has blasted a burning light upon my soul. Your time in compiling this has been a blessing to at least one old soul. Praise God. (Now , about the lady next door ….)
Hey, I’ll be praying for your lady next door! And thank you for reaching out. God bless 🙂
This is an excellent article. I have seen this happen at Church. I could hear the pastors wife pray out loud about someone’s problem or stress and name the person. I think that is another type of gossip as well.
Yes, I agree. Several readers have mentioned “prayer gossip.” It really has me thinking… what do we do when we’re praying and hear someone gossiping in this way? Do we interrupt? I’ll be praying on this because it keeps coming up and unfortunately is a definite form of gossip 🙁
Hi Jenn, not sure if you are still reading this in 2020… what about when you half tell some news if it is a way to protect someone eg. you find out that a friend has had a run in with an acquaintance, and the acquaintance complains to you about your friend. Would it be gossip if you said to the person that your friend is not usually like that but they are stressed at the moment because of work (not going into detail). You do this because you want to protect your friend’s reputation and you are trying to have your acquaintance give grace to your friend by giving a small insight (without too much detail)? What else could you do/say…. in order to smooth the edges or try to speak truth. If you can email me personally i would appreciate it. Gossip is something i have tried to understand. When is it gossip and when is it real news…
Speaking now of person’s in Spiritual Leadership positions…..given commands or directives that are contrary to Bibilical commands and scripture…and complying to the Spiritual Authority of their Pastor’s instead of the scripture!
When this “truth” was revealed….is it gossip or important information….that should be known, tested, and proven as the proper directives? Where does truth begin/end and gossip begin/end? Somethings need to be known and revealed as truthful facts!
8 Flavors of Gossip, 26 Bible Verses
What do you do when it’s your sister in Christ that is repeatedly doing a few of these to you?
Hi Jenny, this is a good question. If I discovered one of my sisters in Christ was gossiping about me, I’d start by praying… Lord, how should I proceed?
Matthew 18:15 says “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”
Are you comfortable confronting her?
A verse that really encourages me is 1 Peter 3:9 “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.”
very interesting article
just left Atlanta Georgia
took a class at the national Baptist convention
My Instructor taught from
Overcoming gossip
How the devil the accuser of Brethern
Uses gossip to fragment the body of Christ
by Mark D. Michael
Dear Going by faith
We have had a one to many instances in the Church where people have been spreading gossip about a new church attendee. Three weeks ago he was baptized, some of our pious members, found out what they think is dirt on him and have spread it all over town. He has never been asked his side of the story, but the rumor mill keeps it going. This Sunday I am going to do a power point presentation and with your permission use some material from your 8 flavors of Gossiping. It will be done with reverence in a topical preaching way. We are a Bible church and I have been Pastor for over five years now.
God Bless you and yours,
Pastor Sam
Thanks for sharing Pastor Samuel, and I hope you’re sermon touched and convicted hearts in Jesus’ name. Continuing to hold you up in prayer for God’s faithful guidance over your ministry.
I think this is a bad thing, if you talk somebody about his self. And the person is not here. May be it is not True, but actually it is true.
To Jen. . .I’m a pastor in Lexington South Carolina. I am doing a Bible study called, “Body Parts.” In preparing a lesson on “ears” I ran across this post. What an amazing article. Thank you and God Bless You! Pastor Rich
Thank you Pastor Rich! I hope your message touched and inspired others in Jesus . Praying God blesses you in your ministry.
Question: what about if you’re talking to yourself about someone .. Is that considered gossiping? In my situation, this person I once loved has hurt me and my our son. So when I think about him, sometimes they are good thoughts but most times they’re bad. So I, out loud, talk those feelings out. As if I’m gossiping, but with myself.
That’s an interesting question Symone. I think the act of gossip is when you’re talking about someone to another person or people.
I’ve caught myself doing this before, talking things out, working them out verbally to myself. I usually catch myself in the middle of some imaginary conversation in turn it over to God… Lord, help my heart!
Psalm 51:10 “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”
Gossip at our church has made me consider not going to meetings or fellowship breakfasts. Gossips do not realize that the give themselves away, eventually. Many times I just listen to what they say. Know immediately who they are talking about and where it came from. Just last Thursday someone gave away something personal about me that was told to what I considered a friend in confidence. It is sad that you can not even confide in them. Gossip is distracting and causes distrust within groups. Also causes division among members.
Issues within the church should be discussed in appropriate church venues and then resolved by the church with love. AD Board and PPRC meetings are the correct forum for discussion and possible resolution.
Gossip is not my cup of tea, however, it is easy to get trapped in it occasionally . Personally, I am fed up with it at our church.
Hey, I don’t blame you. The church is no place for gossip, and yet, our hearts are no place for gossip, no matter where we are standing at the time of the gossip.
Is there anyone you can talk to at the church about your concerns? Is there an elder, ministry leader or pastor you trust to discuss this?
I’ll keep you in prayer that God guides you and leads you. Maybe you are a voice of change your community needs 🙂 God bless you.
love the picture
thank you for sharing
Oh how I just loved this piece. I am teaching the ladies meeting in my home church this month, June 2016 I will be using your 8 flavor of gossip as my reference to my teaching. I am hoping this will open people’s hearts and ears. I had no idea there was actually so many ways of gossiping.. I am hurt by my own actions from the past. I am pretty good about keeping my tongue held and telling of others business I have learned of. But I am quilty of letting what I thought of as people venting to me about someone til I read listening!!!!! Oh my lanta do I feel awful now… But thank you for the eye opener maybe I can be a voice to others on this topic with the help of your 8 flavors of gossip… Thank you!!!!!
You are so welcome, and what a blessing to read how you are encouraging and teaching others!
We’ve all gossiped and listened to gossip. We all sin and fall short. But thank God for His mercy and forgiveness and that we can move forward with bigger and better hearts. God bless you sister!
Thank you so much for posting these thoughts. I am recovering from a personal attack someone very near and dear to me made. I am normally an emotionally strong person, but this was just shocking and extremely painful. I got online and searched for scriptures to help me heal and your posting showed up. It has truly helped me, not only to heal, but to me extra mindful of others feelings and emotions. We never know what battles others are facing in their lives. Again, thank you for blessing me with this.
Thank YOU for blessing me with your comment.
“We never know what battles others are facing in their lives. — Amen!!
God bless you sister.
Going through the list of the 8 types of gossips, made me reflect on myself and I found that one way or the other, have gossiped about something or someone. Very good and informative
We all have, Barbara. Thankfully we have a merciful God who forgives us, purifies our hearts and heals us. God bless.
I am humbled,having gone through the eight types of gossip,i learnt a lot,my friends now,can learn from it too,let us stop gossiping.
Please what is the way outbof gossip. It is to never talk to anyone about anyone right?
Thanks for your comment! It inspired me to write the post –> “Struggling with How to Stop Gossiping?” http://goingbyfaith.com/how-to-stop-gossiping/
Hope it helps 🙂 God bless you.
I found myself wanting to slander a person in the same way as I was previously done, when this happens to be someone you love it’s impossible for me to do.
This is so hard, I totally understand. A verse that really encourages me is 1 Peter 3:9 “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” Pondering on those words cuts straight to the truth… and it requires a step in faith. That’s the hard part but the total blessing, even if you don’t see it right away.
Also, if it’s of any help, I happened to just post about struggles with gossip yesterday. Have you ever read the book “The Bait of Satan?” That book was a game changer for me.
I am blessed with this.
Please keep teaching to us though you do not know who we are, God is going to reward you.
Thank you Paul. Your comment really blesses me and motivates me to keep sharing 🙂 God bless you!
Just as the same as you can’t gossip or bad -name
someone who’s close to your heart,with someone else,it can also be possible,especially if we know it is wrong and ungodly.We need to be careful whom we socialise with or hang out with.Stay away from friends who gossip about other people every chance they get.And always learn to remain silent or excuse yourself when backbiting and gossiping are overflowing,because this is highly addictive if you cannot deal with it.
I feel totally drained after being around gossip; it’s destructive behavior. And you’re right, it can be easy to join in if you’re not aware of it or prepared to deal with it. Thanks for sharing
Wow! I knew half of these existed, but not all eight. I was in a situation this past weekend, where I thought I was doing the right thing by not commenting ok what I was HEARING; I failed, simply because I blended and ear to the gossip. Also, the truth is that gossip is all these people do when I’m around them, and I went amongst them anyways. I need to check myself.
We all fall short, yep! But in our weakness we see how much more we need God’s strength and courage to step up and walk strong as Christians. Salt and light. (Matthew 5:13-16) You are in my prayers Roderick, that God grants you discernment on how to move in situations when everyone around is gossiping. Also, I am praying for those around you who gossip, because we all know how addictive and tempting that can be. It’s hard to get out of it. I pray that God opens the eyes of their hearts. They’ll feel better for it. God bless you brother!
I meet a lady each week for coffee who’s talk falls into many of the gossip categories-I have known her many,many years and don’t know how to correct it without offending or hurting her -wisdom needed please! Sarah.
Hi Sarah! Thanks for reaching out here… I replied on your comment here too –> http://goingbyfaith.com/how-to-stop-gossiping/
But in terms of staying free of the gossip without offending her or hurting her, know that without a doubt our friends/family/coworkers/neighbors… the list goes on… they often do become offended when we attempt to put a stop to sin! It’s not that you’re trying to call her out, we’re all sinners, but if she’s enjoying the gossip there’s a chance she’ll become offended if you let her know you’re not interested in gossiping with her. That’s where we’re called to have courage. Joshua 1:9 says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
You love your friend, but you hate the gossip and there’s nothing wrong with that. A true friend will understand and respect that in you… and even if she doesn’t understand right away, she probably will in time. If she never understands or respects your desire to not gossip, I’d wonder why? Confront her in love 🙂 God bless you, praying for His wisdom.
This really bugs me, so I am going to make this comment before reading further. The Bible, The Holy Bible, is God’s word. It is also a title of a book. For those two compelling reasons, please capitalize “Bible.”
Thank you
What do you need to do to repent of gossiping
Hi Debra! We can bring anything before God to repent, including gossip.
If these are helpful:
Here is a post on confession
http://goingbyfaith.com/coming-clean-confessing-and-healing-past-sins-in-faith/
Here is a post about how to stop gossiping in faith
http://goingbyfaith.com/how-to-stop-gossiping/
This blog is really cool. I have bookmarked it. Do you allow guest posting on your website ?
I can provide high quality articles for you.
Let me know.
Hi and thank you. I’m not sure yet about guest posts. That’s something I’m still working out, but if I do end up having guest posts readers will know through email. Thanks for asking!
Interesting. I came across your posts because I am looking at the subject of gossip due to the fact that I have discovered i am being gossiped about on social media and the things being said about me are not true. I have to consider a gentle, corrective and understanding response because I believe the people who are gossiping mean well, but they are sincerely wrong and I was looking for an appropriate verse.
Does this mean i can’t talk about politicians? Like the Clinton scandals and trump? what about the latest things celebs do? sometimes i talk about my friend with other friends…like bringing her name up on something casual we did?
So I think gossip is something we each have to discern for ourselves before God. Just talking about someone else isn’t gossip if there’s no harm or intent for harm, especially sharing a story or information, but we often know when that’s not really our true intent. There are some examples in this post of what is generally considered gossip and also what the Bible says about gossip, but these words from Jesus are some of my favorite:
“There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is said whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs” (Matt 10:26-27).
This topic has caused a lot of pain in my life. i Thank you for sharing and shedding light.
Gossip is a quiet hurt. I understand Sharon. Sometimes when we are on the end of the gossiper, we don’t realize what destruction can come from something that seems so little and harmless. We understand when we’re on the receiving end. We’re human and imperfect, but it’s good to know what it is so it can’t hide in the dark.
Warning someone about a potentially harmful person, is that gossip? Perhaps an individual being considered for a relationship or business venture? I would appreciate knowing. The Lord is convicting me about gossip so I have lost gossip-based friendhps. Truth is, a gossip is a gossip: if they gossip with/to you, please know they gossip ABOUT you.
It’s a great question Diane, and each situation requires discernment because the details are different. I can say personally when I get into tough spots with if I should say something or not (when it involves a person), I like to ask God for discernment. The Spirit can prompt us on what needs to be said, what doesn’t. What’s helpful and what’s not. What’s serving a true purpose vs. what’s gossiping. I don’t know that there’s an exact formula, but I believe God knows the intention in our hearts and can help us there.
we had a lady at another church go and tell of someones past sin in our church that happened 25 years earlier that they repented of and never did again, she told the pastor and another church member and the pastor got up and repeated it to the whole church, and this was gossip that she had heard from someone, they repented, never did it again , why would a christian do that to another sister or brother in christ, god is our judge and if he forgave them why would she do that? its terrible how they feel now.
Thanks for this article on gossip. Some of these thing we do but not knowning that we are harming the next person. I will share with my fellow christians about this gossip thing
I still read it as a reminder too. Thanks for dropping by Florence!
I think one would do well to actually look in the dictionary and see what the word gossip means. It is very confusing to live in a country where half of the people understand the definition of gossip created by the church and the other half are looking in the dictionary, they are totally different meanings. If you wanted to destroy the church with controversy this would be the way to do it. The truth is paramount yet religion will seldom submit to questions or challenges. Thank God for Martin Luther. It is the same with the word lust. I have talked to many , many people and no one knows what the dictionary definition of the word lust is despite the many uses of the word in the church and the Bible. It would seem that this would be an important subject yet no one really knows what the word means. Look it up, you will be surprised.
Hi James, thanks for dropping by. I don’t find the definitions very different at all… or (and maybe more importantly?) how this would destroy the church with controversy. I think it’s interesting to know the different forms of gossip so as to be aware of them, something I can check myself against personally. Could talking about others be harming them? It’s a question I thought about especially after I started reading the Bible and wanting to understand it more. It can be a good reminder to us, but that is for each person to decide for his or herself.
So that said, I did go ahead and look up gossip. Gossip is defined as “casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true” with synonyms such as “spread rumors, spread gossip, talk, whisper, tell tales, tittle-tattle, dish the dirt” and in a derogatory sense, “a person who likes talking about other people’s private lives” with synonyms such as: scandalmonger, gossipmonger, tattler, busybody, muckraker, whisperer. The origins of the word gossip from Old English derive from a word originally given to people close to you like godparents who you could share ‘idle talk’ with… that later led to the word “gossip” in the sense we understand it today.
There’s a difference between sharing facts and thoughts in conversation and gossiping. I get that. I think this is about the heart of gossip and when we’re using it to hurt others in and idle way. Thanks for giving me this opportunity to look more into it and have a fresh look at it again.
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This is perfect for my Wednesday night Jr. high youth group; and I’ll present it to my Sunday adult class too!Thanks so much!
Thank you for this encouragement. I was re-reading a diary from almost 20 years ago, and am feeling unsure about some old “gossip” sins of my own. As a new missionary, I was critical of my missions colleagues, and spoke critically about them to several others–including to the head of our organization. I felt I knew it all — that people in their position should be this way, or that way, and I felt that these people fell short (what did I know?). In the years since, I’ve come to see how wrong I was — both in speaking about these folks behind their backs, but also in my criticisms. But back then, one of the folks with whom I spoke about them was a person from a “rival” ministry (there had been a split), and word was that the folks from this other ministry really couldn’t be trusted, as they might try to use anything said to malign the other side. But at first, I found the person friendly, and as we chatted, critical talk began about my colleagues, and I (feeling misunderstood and needing to vent) agreed way too much with this other person and added a few criticisms of my own. Then, this person asked questions that made me wonder if they were “digging” for more information, and I left our talk feeling as if I’d made a great mistake in saying anything at all–in even speaking to them (the split was very painful). Later, feeling convicted, I called this person and told them how wrong I was to speak negatively and judgementally about my colleages, and asked them not to share my comments. Next day, I told my colleagues that I and this person had spoken, and apologized for saying too much about the ministry (though I didn’t ‘fess up to speaking critically of them), and that this person had asked me some things that I felt a bit defensive about, and that I was concerned that this person might use my words to malign the ministry. What cowardice! In effect, I almost made it seem that I was a victim to the other person, when I freely spoke critically as well. In the years since, I’ve had a chance to express my gratitude toward my colleages, pointing out how wrong and foolish I was in my expectations of missionaries, and how their ministry had affected me and so many others. I feel that this (and speaking to all those I spoke to ABOUT them) is productive; but in hindsight, I wonder if I should address what I did in telling them about my conversation with the other person. Should I go back and tell them that I have spoken critically of them? And, should I tell them that I fear that I cast a shadow on the other person’s reputation, since really, I had no idea that that other person might use my words to malign the ministry at all, and the real issue was my own sin of critical speaking? Sigh … I’ve been strugglng with an almost neurotic scrupulosity about this (and other past sins!) and would appreciate your input. Thank you.
Is it gossip if you express concern for a person and share the person’s story in order to ask people to pray for this person? If a friend tells me about her hardships, is it gossip if I ask fellow Christians to pray for her?
That happened to me Nina. A lady at church was telling me about her friend’s child with special needs and how the friend was not handling it correctly. At first, I felt very uncomfortable that I might be involved in gossiping. Then The Lord asked me to just listen instead of constantly trying to switch the conversation. After listening for a while, I suggested we prayed for her friend so she would know what to do for her child. When I went home that day, The Lord moved me to pray again for the friend. This time the prayer had nothing to do with her special needs child but instead it was about her soul. I found myself crying and asking God to have mercy on her and to save her. I have to say the friend suffered asthma and was hospitalized and soon after that prayer she died. I believe God wanted to save her and so He allowed the lady to come tell me about her friend’s special needs child since I’m a special ed teacher. It’s weird how God works. It’s good to always be open to hear Him. Our ways are not His ways.
From my experience when it comes to slander, gossiping and backbiting, the women in world have nothing on the women in the church. Sadly I’ve seen it start with SOME pastors wives, families, and their circle of friends and those involved in some type of ministry. They form clicks and keep people out for whatever reason. Women & men who slander and gossip, I believe, are motivated by jealousy and envy; and the easiest way to take down another brethren is to undermine their faith and integrity, and give them a nasty reputation among other believers. Have they not read Proverbs 10:18 They need to follow 1 Peter 2:1
Hi, there I am a victim of gossip and it really ruined my reputation.How can I recover immediately? Is there any bible verse to compensate my feelings right now? To tell you honestly it hurts me so bad and it somewhat directing my focus away from God. Could someone give me a Christian advice? I am grateful to read it in my email. Thank you. God bless.
Great contributions and great work by the author of this post.
I believe what you say about others to others must consider the following to either be a gossip or an upgrading information to learn a lesson from;
#First, to whom are you addressing this and why?
#Secondly, How is this person connected to the other?
#Do you need to mention names or not?
#Where are you discussing and what circumstances prompted it?
#If the person is present, will you say exactly what you are talking about them?
sometimes talking without mentioning names might easily direct the person to either the right or wrong person you were referring to. The reason why you must clarify your target identity.
If you can answer the above questions then you might be on the right track as defined by the resulting formula.
How can we stop one’s father who dominantly loves to lie about everybody? My true love’s father gossips about me, all of my family, all of my friends, everybody she knows. He has done so since she was an infant! Her mother is a slave to him. He wants to use his daughter, 24/7, too. When will she ever realize and accept that he is the problem? Nobody else, nor anything else. He uses her epilepsy to isolate and enslave her, also. Any answer that she will fully comprehend? He is so domestic, but she can’t realize it. What solutions are there?
Is there a time for intervention of a Loved one who needs help.I know you can really burn someone and I,m not Dr. Phil.I,m not trying to be a judge.If you intervene with real love,tenderness and not malice or anger,I think it,s not gossip?
Dear Jennifer. I have been working on a book for the past three years on unanswered prayers. Every time I think I have completed the book I find points which could be added to the book. From reading the bible I have come across few new points for the book each time, including gossiping and slandering. I thank God that I never rushed the book but always took breaks and revisited the table of contents. On reading your article, I was truly blessed. You have written on the topical exceptionally well. I like how you have separated the topic into various sub section. I am requesting permission to use your sub sections in my book under the topic on Gossiping. Due reference to you will be given. Pray the Lord bless you with knowledge, wisdom and understanding of His Word as you continue to write on His Word.
do you think that if i said to my stepsisters friend that that she is extra and i don’t know that it will hurt her feelings and then i find out that they tell her and it hurt her feelings would that be classed as gossip for you are just stating something that you think is something nice but find out they don’t find it nice
Thank you very much for this very message. Good God will continue to strengthen you. By the special grace of God, I’ll be talking on thus very issue this coming Sunday. Please, permit me to make use of this your points on ” 8 flavors of gossip”. Evang. Emmanuel.
No wonder I HATE gossip. I rather talk about God and HIS Word. #PRAYERWARRIOR!!!!!
i was in a relationship with this lady who i later withdrew away from because i felt the relationship with her didn’t please God and also it was the main reason for a collapse of my relationship with my beloved who i intended to get married to.I later found out that this lady was drawing too close to one of the brothers in the church who was married and whose wife has been complaining about the closeness of my lady friend to her husband.Not wanting what happened to my relationship with my beloved happen to my brother’s marriage,I tried to give information to the wife of the christian brother about certain things i had seen ..I did it with a good intention to stop the unhealthy relationship i thought was developing between this married brother and the lady i withdrew from,since we were in the same group and i saw more than the wife would ordinarily see.I think I slandered the lady i withdrew from to the wife of the brother who by the way had also been suspecting foul play by her husband.I obviously was providing more information /evidence .I think the lady i withdrew from has gotten to know i gave information and now sees me as one who didnt have good intentions for her.Though in my heart of hearts,I did it for good reasons i think the best way was could have kept my mouth shut.But it was out of a good intention of not letting this brother’s marriage hit the rocks like my relationship did.Unfortunately it has turned out badly and i think the best decision could have been to be quiet and not get involved….I think i would just take it as a lesson not to slander and gossip and mind my own business next time.I repent of that and ask that the Lord will bring healing to every wounded hurt …
I had a situation 15 years ago when I was building in a neighborhood that I still live in today. My electrical contractor also lived at that time here and he also sold me the lot. I gave him the job but to this day I regret my decision. To make matters worse I told a neighbor in my frustration some of what went on with the guy. The constant sexual advances which I did not want. The guy knew I could not take on the expense of sending him on his way because if you know anything about contracting if you have to bring someone else into the job midway it will cost you a lot of money. It was horrible dealing with this guy and even some of my stuff went missing. He tried to squeeze money out of me on false pretenses and the list goes on. Any way I made the mistake of telling a neighbor my frustration with the guy and I wound up becoming the whore of the neighborhood . I have learned my lesson don’t tell anyone anything even if it is true because people will use it against you. It does not matter if it is the truth or not it will be used to harm you because most people will believe a lie before the truth. If I don’t have the resources to pursue a matter legally then I put it in God’s hands and walk away. That is all a poor person can do.
this is amazing my mother’s sister has had a sin of pride and greed leading her to mistreating my cousin(kicking him out of the house and forbid him to visit in order to help babysit his two siblings one of them goes to school while the other is still a baby quiet a talker as he grows so fast <3) yet instead of helping her overcome those sins or even praying for her half of my family has had the opportunity to gossip about it to my other family members and has thus judged her harshly for it… without her knowledge… they however had resisted the urge to gossip about her mistakes when my family is having a local family time…because well it would tear apart the family and my entire family would never be the same after that but anyway my family still maintains a good relationship with each other despite the trials i am never the type to gossip simply because out of respect of my family and besides whatever mistake, things, and sins they do or commit is none of my business… the lord's judgement is never wrong we are his children and its only right that we sincerly confess our sins 🙂
Gossip is evil. Period. The wise does not gossip, for he does not now whether what is said to him is true. He politely declines to partake and does not spread rumours.
If you gossip, you might unwittingly be a participant in a smear campaign orchestrated by an individual with Narcissistic Personality Disorder against his target.
Better keep your distance from gossipers. If they gossip about others, they will gossip about you.
This is one of the many sins, I feel most people ignore, feeling like this isn’t wrong. The word doesn’t lie. Straight up, it’s sad that we slander our brother or sister. Believe me, God will judge everyone of us. We think we are getting away from slandering, telling lies, slashing someone’s character. God sees and hears what you are saying.
researching gossip. totally understand and agree with what is stated. what i am researching is when you talk with your friend. sometimes you need to talk to someone else to talk thru what is happening, ways to address the issue, be heard. i am not talking about going to a person with the intent of speaking ill about someone else and you aren’t there for help. make sense?
Hello. my grandma is the one who constantly gossips about other people especially with their private/personal affairs even if she tells the truth(she claims it is not gossip if she tells the truth) and i can often catch her whispering it is often a habit of hers to talk about other people’s affairs instead of other things.
Does crime reporting fall into this category?
Are we to seek out those we have gossiped about and ask for forgiveness from them, if we don’t even know that they are aware of the gossip ?’ It might ease our conscience but won’t it hurt them buy finding it out from you ?
I am blessed and renewed after reading about gossip I realize I am guilty of this sin without knowing… I pray to God and I believe he has heard me…..
Question ⁉️
But what are the steps/process to stop gossip of any type / forms ⁉️ ⁉️ ⁉️ ⁉️ I would be happy to get an answer than Jen my God grant you more wisdom