We learn lessons in interesting places, but I never suspected a blog would be one of them.
Recently I sat down to write, steaming hot cup of tea in hand, warm sunlight coming through the window and thought about giving up.
Not because I wanted to. Not because I had to. But because it started getting too hard.
Wait, what?
Let me explain.
My site got hacked, and while it’s fixed and secure now, it was a tedious and draining process. A process I tried to fix on my own and move past quickly. A process I didn’t have time for but had to make time for. A process that was much less about this blog and much more about faith, endurance and reliance on God.
Are you struggling with a problem that feels draining, defeating and never-ending? I get it. Yet unwanted circumstance can be just what we need to strengthen our walk with God, gain courage and push through resistance. How?
First, lean into your faith. Then…
Do What You Can Until You Can’t
Two months ago a mini hack occurred here (there’s more on that in this post). In short, it resulted from an unchecked box I missed during a design change, and it was a time-consuming problem, but it was fixable, and I learned a valuable lesson from it.
I don’t like dealing with technical issues, so after it all got straightened out, I felt relieved and ready to move on, finally.
But the next time I sat down to write this blog you are reading right now, it was gone.
Yes, it was a blank page!
And When You’re at Can’t… Cry? (Just for a minute)
I no longer knew what to do. This wasn’t an easy fix. The site was kind of gone.
And the advice for how to fix it was way beyond my skill level. It looked daunting, confusing. I learned that the malicious coded infiltrating my site was there to “disable or compromise” it. What a disquieting feeling.
Frantically I texted two of my close friends. They were supportive, and one of them asked if I could just start a new site. I stopped for a minute and stared at the floor.
I had a short cry. Like three minutes. I cried for what I potentially lost.
But then I realized something so very important: It’s in God’s hands. This is His work, and whatever happens, I just want to be faithful.
A that moment the tears stopped, the confusion faded and I decided to wait and see what would happen. And what happened was I invested in some professional help, learned some great lessons along the way and now here it is, all cleaned up, safe and secure once more.
We all have these little battles of living by faith, but here are some gold-nugget lessons learned from all of it:
Find support from those who love you and understand the goal. Reach out to friends for prayer and support.
Give to God what can’t be understood or fixed. Trust that God has a bigger plan, even if it’s something we don’t get immediately (or ever).
Take time to feel. We’re human, and humans have feelings. There’s nothing wrong with giving yourself time, right?
Am I being faithful Lord? The morning before the hack I learned at a Bible study how Paul, in his letters, didn’t mention how many churches he planted or how many people got saved under his ministry. He measured his success by asking one question: Have I been faithful?
We have lessons we don’t want to learn because the timing isn’t ‘right,’ we don’t want the hard work, it feels scary.
It disrupts our routine.
And yet the lesson is there. Will we take it? Will we breathe through it and move?
Will we trust the Lord with it all?
Take heart. Step out in faith alone.
Please pray for me and my ability to care for my elderly parents, I work 2 jobs and do not want a nursing home for them. I’m learning the lesson of letting go and letting God handle this but I’m scared of their future if I can’t do this.
Kim thank you for reaching out and yes I will certainly pray for you! That’s not an easy situation and your concern is understandable, especially with working two jobs. While reading your comment I thought of 1 Peter 5:7, which says “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” God knows your heart, your desire to care for your parents. He loves you. He makes a way where we think there is no way. I’ll be praying for you Kim, for God’s peace and wisdom to cover you.
We all get in the place you did. I strive everyday to keep the faith like I should. God has it all in his hands. If we depend and give it all to him it works out like God intended.
I think we all need to pray for one another and love one another. God commands us to do that.
God bless and I will pray for you and you pray for me.
Thank you Debbie! Yes, definitely. Let’s keep each other in prayer. We’re here to encourage one another and lift up each other. We’re a family in Christ.
I’m a stay at home mother. I have been dealing with anxious/intrusive thoughts ever since I had my first baby. She is now 14. Please pray for me. I’ve had times where I think I will be free forever but it always comes back. Thank you
Cindy, thank you for your honesty. When I read your words I felt like I could understand the intrusiveness of anxious thoughts. And there’s moments of peace, but there’s times when we’re hit again. Yes I’ll be praying for you, even tonight. We’re in a battle, and it makes me realize over and over why we’re given the spiritual armor of God… for our protection and defense during these times we’re tried.
“Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you.” (Luke 10:19)
“Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” (Ephes 6:14-18)
I hear you. Faith pays off. I kept thinking I need meds for my anxiety etc. Turned out the answers were through God. Keep praying. Be patient. Be in your Bible and you will feel better.
SOOO encouraged! So convicting, “Have I been faithful?”
Thank you for being so real and vulnerable. This brought some things up in my own life and made me put some things in check.
Thank you Shannon… and might I add that you have encouraged me today! God bless you sister 😉
Wow! Jenn! I must say this blog popped up in my e-mail and I was like hmmmm what is this….. I remember following and reading your blog a little while ago. The title of this post hit me hard. You know I too suffer from anxiety and battle with this daily… 😉 BUT I am learning that even when we don’t want to learn a lesson….. it certainly is there. And we will certainly learn from it even when it is hard. God will always be with us to supply our needs. He always gives us what we need and what we can handle. xoxo
Aww yes I totally know what you’re saying Som, and thanks for that reminder. We just have to keep stepping forward in faith, trusting God has us. And He always does. Hugs xoxo
Please pray for me as my husband no longer wants to be married after 40 years. I am learning to trust God with my future as I am also not working at this time.
I know he has better plans and I just have to step back and let him show me. Our first response is to take control even though we have no control. Faith is a wonderful thing when we let God take over, be patient, and trust in his plans for us.
Cheryl, I absolutely will pray for you. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this right now, and at the same time, I’m so encouraged by your faith and courage to trust God. Thank you for sharing that, it has touched me today. Praying the Lord guide you and that you can feel His care and presence.
Hi Jenn,
Thank you so much for posting this. This speaks volumns to my heart. At this time and season in my life I am going through a whole lot of trials and tribulations dealing with my step daughter. She is 17 and has been living with us now, full time for about a year. She has been difficult, disrespectful and rebellious. It’s not easy and I often find myself becoming discouraged and frustrated. Despite great communication between my husband and I, everything we try to do, seems to not work with her. Needless to say, her and I don’t really have a great relationship if you could even call it that. I just pray and seek God throughout it all and reading things likes this gives me encouragement. Again, Thank-you.
Thanks so much for sharing this Jessica. I’m sure there will be parents reading your comment today and in the future that will understand and feel relieved to know they’re not alone. I apologize for this late reply, but please know you are down on my prayer list. Lifting you up for God’s wisdom, strength, love and perseverance.
–Jen