Forgiveness isn’t always easy, especially when we’ve been hurt to the core.
At some point in life we all struggle to forgive, but hanging on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge only cause self-imposed suffering. Ultimately we become both the prisoner and the jailer.
Yesterday a friend told me about a man who was estranged from his father for many years. On the father’s deathbed, he asked his son to come visit — he wanted to make amends. The son refused, saying, “Why should I go see him? He neglected us for all of these years, and now he’s dying and wants to make peace? No way.”
We may not feel like forgiving right after being hurt, but how can we ultimately go the distance as an unforgiving Christian? It seems like living a double life, especially since we ask God to forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Are they just empty words?
Forgiving Frees Us
Forgiveness doesn’t justify harmful behavior, and it doesn’t mean we’ll continue relating to those who hurt us in the same way, but it does set us free of a huge burden that only God can make right.
Learning to forgive… and not just on the surface, but from the heart, is a transformation that takes place on a soul level. It is a selfless act in line with God’s will. Even Jesus–as He was being crucified–prayed for God to forgive. While soldiers mocked him and gambled for his clothes by throwing dice, he prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34)
Forgiveness opens our hearts. It frees us from pain we could otherwise carry for years and years. But it isn’t always a solo act. God can help us when we’re struggling to forgive. We just need to ask in faith.
What the Bible Says About Forgiveness
This post won’t give you steps to take to on how to forgive or bullets on how to feel better about it. But it points you where you need to go when you’re struggling. It’s good to struggle with finding our way, especially when it pivots us toward God.
And here’s what He says about forgiveness:
“Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.” (Luke 17:4)
“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.” (Mark 11:25)
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:14-15)
“If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven–if there was anything to forgive–I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake.” (2 Corinthians 2:10)
“This is what you are to say to Joseph: ‘I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly. Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father.’ When their message came to him, Joseph wept.” (Genesis 50:17)
What’s your favorite Bible verse about forgiveness?
thank you for having this web site.i have been busy,i am trying to catch up. god bless you and your new little guy.
Thank you for stopping by Carmen 🙂 I know what you mean by busy!
Thank you so much for sharing this message. I’ve been stuggling with this myself for a long time now. The scriptures you gave allow me to understand that letting go is what God requires of me. I was actually listening to a discussion about forgiveness before I stopped by your sight. I’m attaching the link below and I hope it is a blessing to someone out there who is struggling with forgiveness as well. God Bless You!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXlx2K-8O5Q&feature=relmfu
ive been struggling with un forgiveness in my heart to the point where i am now bitter to every one, and i don’t want to be i try so hard to forgive its just so hard i dont know why i just cant let go or myself off the hook. thank you i will be meditating on those scriptures God bless you pray my strength in the lord
Thanks for reaching out Deseree. I’m praying even now for you, that God touches and softens your heart as only He can. Bitterness and lack of forgiveness– something so many of us struggle with. The book “Bait of Satan” is a great read on the topic of harboring offense… I have a little bit about it on the resource page http://goingbyfaith.com/books-youll-love/.
Praying for you. God bless you sister.
I am struggling of forgiveness I asked God to help me and i want to ask if u forgive people that wrong u. Must u go to them or u forgive them through prayers and let it go
Hi Thandi,
Yes, I do forgive people who wrong me. I believe that’s something that happens in your heart between you and God, but if someone asked for forgiveness of course it could be in person. It could be so many ways. I just read some great words on forgiveness last night:
“But true forgiveness is a process, not an event. It is rarely the case that we are able to forgive ‘one time’ and the matter is settled. Far more often, we must relinquish our bitterness a dozen times or more, continually choosing to release the offender from our judgement.” (From the book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, pg 160).
You will be in my prayers for God’s wisdom and heart of forgiveness and love 🙂